Normally, I will acknowledge International Women’s Day by just wishing my mom and sister a happy day. I do not really take time to reflect on the deeper meaning of this day, other than thinking of the women who have done something that has warranted them a mention in a history book somewhere. This definitely takes less than three minutes. In short, this is just a normal day for me.
For the very first time in my slightly over two decades of living, I felt like I truly comprehend the meaning of this day. I took time to think of the type of woman I really am. I reminisced the times I have been of help to other women and the times when I have brought down another woman or directly or indirectly, knowingly or unknowingly. I was jovial about my being of help to a woman somewhere, but I felt really bad when I vividly recalled every time I have bad mouthed a fellow woman, seen a sister in bad light or been too hasty in judging a woman before really understanding her.
One thing I know for sure is that every woman out there is stronger than they can even imagine. Women undergo very many difficulties and as one, I can tell you that it’s never easy. It is definitely not easy to bear horrible menstrual cramps every month. It is not easy to maintain a pregnancy for nine months, more or less. It is most definitely not easy to give birth to a child or multiples. Raising children and a family is even harder. Experiencing all the above and still having to go to work or school might feel like hell. All in all, it is so difficult to keep your business together when all you want to do is to break down.
I have a special place in my heart for all the women in the world, and most especially for those in my country. It is not easy to be looked down on by both your fellow women and men. I feel disheartened every single time I remember that for women to be in government in this country, women representative seats had to be incorporated into the constitution. For someone who can give birth and take care of kids that drive you mad every passing minute, this level of disregard is unbelievable. Leave alone men, how many women will wake up one day, see the potential in a fellow woman and decide to elect her into parliament? When a woman enters a conference room and sees another woman, what exactly do they see? Sadly, many see a competition. Some will start to think of the many horrible ways the other woman could have used to get that seat. Well, wake up sis, the world does not revolve around you and your petty ideas and ill sense of self importance.
It is high time women stop seeing others as competition and think of one another as motivation. If a sister has done it, be happy for them. It means that you can also do it and if you can’t, then there is something else that you can do better. Do not at any point aspire to bring them down. Don’t always speak ill of another woman when something goes wrong in their relationship. I’ve heard some say that ‘she saw it coming’, ‘she knew he was a player’ or ‘she was in it for the money or fame’. It is not cool. It is even worse to always shift the blame to women when their men are in the wrong. I have noted that most of the media in my country will always have these catchy headlines that paint women in a bad light after relationships end badly. I think it is worse when the author or editor of the post is a woman. Perhaps we’ve used the ‘women are their own enemies’ phrase too much that it’s growing on some women. Sis, please wake up.
Every woman wants to feel special every once in a while if not daily. We all want to wake up and feel appreciated. We want to walk freely without judging eyes roaming all over us with every step we take. We want to feel free and loved. Let us be that cup of joy and motivation that each one of us needs everyday.